In the book, God Loves Messed Up People, the author Minister Gene Heil discusses what to do when you can’t forgive. He lived in a dysfunctional home and learned to forgive even in the worst circumstances. Heil suffered physical, emotional and sexual abuse and survived it by giving God his pain. He understands how difficult it is to forgive people that hurt you, but his experience taught him that unless you forgive, you can’t move forward. “Forgiveness releases you,” says Heil. “People often look at forgiveness as releasing the perpetrator. But in reality, it causes you to accept what happened and realize that you need to deal with the matter. Therefore, forgiveness really releases you. You only become empowered when you release the past.” If you are having difficulty releasing a person, Heil is available for prayer. Contact wordoflife70@yahoo.com or join him for live prayer on Instagram at 7:00 PM CST on Thursday at genoheil.
Heil has recommendations on what to do when you can’t forgive. His brother assaulted him and died before he could forgive him. So he truly could understand what to do when you can’t forgive. His brother’s death didn’t allow him to go to his brother and say I forgive you for what you did. Therefore, he had to learn another way. He watched how his mother forgave his father no matter what he did, and that took root in him. Through that process, he learned that forgiveness could be unconditional. He learned that no matter what a person does, you can choose to forgive them. You don’t have to see the person or talk to the person. Simply choose to forgive. If you operate in unconditional forgiveness, there is nothing a person can’t forgive. His mother’s actions made a tremendous impact on his life.
Next, he learned God could take on the burden of pain if you give it to him. Through a series of events in his life, Heil asked God to lead him to forgive and release his brother. God opened the door for this healing through the writing of his book God Loves Messed Up People. This process helped to cleanse him of a situation, and he could give unconditional forgiveness to his brother. “The book brought healing, and I wrote it so that people could see that God’s power heals. I want people to learn to trust God and get healed from all their wounds.”
Heil believes that people can still have healthy lives despite their trauma. He recommends finding someone that you can trust to talk to. Getting the pain out is like a pressure value releasing. Next he suggests spending time in prayer, trusting and learning to depend on God. “Forgiving changed my life. It set me free. It gave me peace of mind and I learned how much Jesus Christ loved me. I study his word and continue to get better every day.”
What people say about the book:
Maria
It takes a lot of courage to open yourself up to others about having been abused physically, sexually, or emotionally. In his book God Loves Messed Up People author Gene Heil brings to light the emotional aftermath of abuse and dysfunctional living. It literally messes us up when we keep it inside. His experience began as a child who held the secret inside for so long that it affected his life until he learned to have a more structured life after serving in the armed forces and found a church where he felt safe.
Heil helped me recognize just how any form of abuse can affect relationships. With a great deal of humility, he shares how the fear and shame of abuse affected his life choices and relationships in adulthood. When he began to deal with his emotional pain, he turned to God. Towards the end of the book, Heil shares his thoughts on racism. As a white man raised in a predominately Black neighborhood he was often beaten and teased. Having lived through these incidents and interracial marriage, the author makes an appeal to readers to “move beyond your perception of others”.
My favorite line in this book is, “hurt people, hurt people”. That short phrase made me realize just how important it is to talk about the things that hurt us most and seek help through talking to a trusted friend, a counselor, or finding a place of worship where you too can grow stronger in your spiritual life in order to find the love and peace the author himself had sought for so many years.
Caroline
This book is an honest and open account of the author’s life including all its traumas and adversities. The author over time builds a connection with God, which helps him navigate through the darker parts of his life. The candid nature of the book is an excellent guide and self-help book for anyone who may be struggling with their own difficulties.
Monty Shadd–Please Read this Book
Gene Heil has written a very powerful book. Well worth reading.
Alice K-Worth Reading
Wow! This book is worth reading. For sure, God loves messed up people and we should never feel worthless. God bless you, Gene, for writing this book.
Terri Woolfork–You Can Overcome Your Situation
Very insightful and informative way of growing up in a dysfunctional atmosphere.
Renee Heade–A Must Read if You’ve Every Felt Messed Up
I really enjoyed reading this book, mainly due to how honest the author was. I cried, smiled, and related to see some dysfunctions within my family. This is definitely a must read for anyone who questions if God loves messed up people.
Minister Gene Heil’s book God Loves Messed Up People is available at geneheilministries.com or Amazon. It is a life-changing book that will help to set you free. You can forgive. It is a choice. Contact Gene Heil for prayer, ministry, or speaking engagements at wordoflife70@yahoo.com.